Trauma can come from several sources. For some people, it can be war. For others, it could be being the victim of a crime. In some cases, the source of a person’s trauma can be from being caught in a natural disaster.
But for some people, their traumatic event may be more personal. Some people can develop post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD symptoms when they find that their partner has committed an act of betrayal in the relationship. But what are these symptoms of infidelity PTSD, and what is the healing process like?
Symptoms of PTSD from Cheating
The signs of PISD or post-infidelity stress disorders can be quite similar to the signs of other conditions that are rooted in trauma. Post traumatic symptoms can include:
Nightmares and Flashbacks
Like many other mental health conditions that are rooted in trauma, a betrayed partner can have flashbacks or nightmares about finding out about their partner’s infidelity.
Hysterical Bonding
While some people may shut their partners out sexually after the traumatic experience of being betrayed, some may become more sexually active with them. This is sometimes referred to as ‘hysterical bonding,’ and it can take numerous forms. This is often a conscious or subconscious attempt at ‘winning them back’ or because their adulterous partner is a familiar source of emotional and physical closeness or intimacy.
Hyperarousal
Some people may become hyperaroused as a result of their trauma. This is not to do with sexual arousal. Rather, it is mental and physical arousal. They may have a hard time relaxing, they may feel as if they are constantly on edge, and they may become more anxious.
Intrusive Thoughts and Memories
Many may have intrusive thoughts regarding their partner if they choose to reconcile. Some people may become anxious about their partner’s whereabouts, and they may worry that their partner is cheating on them again. They’ll often be unable to help these thoughts.
Some may constantly wonder about what needs their partner felt weren’t being met in the relationship.
Relationship Issues
In addition to the trust issues listed above, some people can have issues in future relationships if they choose to leave their adulterous partner. They may have a hard time trusting future partners. They may have issues with their self-esteem. Some may develop a fear of abandonment as a result of their posttraumatic stress.
Self-Blame
Some people may blame themselves for their partner’s lack of fidelity in a relationship. They may become insecure and think that if they were more attractive, their personality more agreeable, or better in bed, then their partner would not have felt the need to betray their trust and stray outside the relationship.
Avoidance
Avoidance is a common symptom of trauma disorders. People who have been betrayed may take measures to avoid things that remind them of their partner’s betrayal. They may even take steps to avoid things that remind them of their relationship as a whole.
Detachment & Emotional Numbness
Some people can become emotionally detached or numb as a result of their trust being broken. This is not dissimilar to other trauma disorders.
Can Betrayal Cause PTSD?
No, infidelity does not cause PTSD. Rather, it causes a similar disorder known as Post-infidelity stress disorder or PISD. The symptoms are similar, but the two conditions are distinct.
What Is Post Infidelity Stress Disorder?
PISD is not a recognised medical condition in the same way that PTSD is. While it is not a recognised condition, people who have it experience symptoms very similar to those of PTSD and can have deep emotional trauma as a result of being cheated on, and this trauma can greatly affect their mental health.
How to Cope with Post Infidelity Stress
There are several options that a person can turn to to cope with their trauma; some may turn to substances, but there are healthier coping mechanisms available. These can include:
Cognitive Restructuring
Cognitive restructuring is a technique that’s often used in behavioural therapies. It involves helping people change the way that they think and can be a useful tool for stress management.
Trauma-Informed Therapy
It’s important to seek professional help to deal with trauma. Trauma-informed therapy is essentially a form of therapy that takes a person’s traumatic experiences into account when administering treatment.
Couples/Family Therapy
If a couple does choose to reconcile after infidelity, then they will need to go to counselling to help them move past the betrayal and better communicate with one another, especially regarding their needs and feelings.
EMDR
EMDR, or Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy, is a form of treatment that helps people process traumatic memories to lighten the emotional weight that they carry. This is done by using bilateral stimulation to mimic REM sleep while thinking of the distressing memory. In doing so, a person can process the memory. EMDR has proven to be effective at helping people manage their trauma.
Trauma Release Exercises
Trauma Release Exercises, or TREs, are physical movements that are aimed at helping people release muscle tension and stress. Trauma can sometimes cause a flight-or-flight response, and this tension can be stored in the body. This stored tension can cause physical and mental symptoms such as fatigue and anxiety.
How Does Infidelity Impact Mental Health?
Infidelity can have major effects on a person’s mental health. As mentioned before, being cheated on can cause a person to develop PTSD symptoms. Infidelity can also cause depression and low self-esteem. It can also cause anxiety, and people may become hypervigilant in their romantic relationships.
Some people can also internalise blame regarding a partner’s betrayal and feel as if they were an inadequate partner. People may also become angry, either at their unfaithful partner or the person their partner cheated with, or their anger may be displaced and be taken out on unrelated people or things. Infidelity can have lasting impacts on the betrayed person’s mental and physical health.
Move Past Betrayal Trauma
Being betrayed can be one of the worst things to happen in a relationship, and many people may find themselves being unable to move past it. However, moving past this trauma will be essential for rebuilding a new life. That new life may or may not involve the adulterous partner, but a person will need help to process what happened to them. At Orchid in Thailand, we offer treatment for trauma to help people build new lives. Contact us to learn more.
