Sexual abuse can have lasting consequences. If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual assault, know that healing is possible and that you are not alone. In this article, we’ll talk about the different ways you can heal from the impact of sexual abuse.
Acknowledge What Happened
Although acknowledging what happened is the first step to healing sexual trauma, it’s usually the most difficult step. There’s no need to take action right away, you need to recognise that something happened and what happened wasn’t okay. It can take a lot of time to acknowledge that you were a victim of sexual violence, but remember that this can help you have the space to feel without judgement.
The reason why it can be difficult to come to terms with sexual trauma is that many people push things down or go numb. While this is your brain’s way of protecting you, it can hinder long-term healing by preventing the processing of traumatic experiences and leading to unresolved emotional pain.
Find a Safe Space to Process
Once you’re ready to receive help, it’s time to find a safe space to process your feelings related to the trauma. Remember that there is no “right” way to process what happened. Some people may have to talk about it, while others may need some time to sit with their thoughts.
Talking to another person, such as a loved one or a psychologist, can be a safe space. You may also want to take time for yourself and find a quiet place where you can reflect on your own. This safe space will help you navigate PTSD and trauma so that you can eventually heal and move forward.
Reconnect With Yourself
It’s common to feel disconnected from yourself and your body after being a victim of sexual assault. That’s why pushing forward and trying to reconnect with yourself can help you heal even if you feel stress and anxiety.
Don’t worry if reconnecting after trauma isn’t easy. It often isn’t. However, having little moments to yourself can remind you that your body isn’t the enemy and your voice matters. Reconnect with the good parts, such as your passions and creativity. This way, you can feel whole again and rebuild your trust to continue healing.
Build a Strong Support System
A support system is crucial for survivors of sexual trauma. Healing from sexual abuse isn’t something you should face alone, and finding someone you trust to confide in can make all the difference. When building a support system, remember that quality matters more than quantity.
Think of the people who make you feel safe and supported. Whether this is a close friend who listens or even an online community, these people can significantly change your outlook. It’s also okay if you’re not ready to open up. Simply knowing that these people are there and prepared to listen can bring a sense of comfort.
Celebrate Your Progress
Healing from trauma is not linear; many people will experience setbacks. It’s easy to overlook your progress when there are difficult days. Even the smallest bit of progress deserves to be celebrated. For example, simply going to group therapy or talking to someone you trust instead of shutting down your feelings shows strength.
There’s no need to have everything together just to acknowledge your milestones. Again, there’s no “perfect” way to heal. As such, celebrating in whatever way you can, whether treating yourself or telling yourself you’re proud of your progress, reinforces positive behaviours and builds resilience.
Prepare for Upsetting Memories
Sexual assault survivors may continue to experience and remember moments of the trauma even long after it’s happened. These can be extremely confusing and terrifying, even if you’ve done so much to heal.
However, when upsetting memories arise, always be kind to yourself. Experiencing these flashbacks and remembering these negative thoughts and beliefs doesn’t discredit all of your progress. You might feel tired or emotionally drained whenever these arise, but giving yourself space to rest and recover can be a good step.
These intrusive thoughts shouldn’t control you. They will also pass. And each time they do, you get a little stronger.
Develop Healthy Coping Strategies
Something as traumatic as sexual assault will often result in your body going into fight or flight mode. You may tend to push people away or shut down as a response to the trauma. However, these survival habits do more harm than good in healing. Instead, you’ll want to develop healthy coping strategies to help you feel more grounded.
Coping with trauma doesn’t have to be a complete overhaul. Simple things can help you feel more like yourself. For instance, incorporating gentle movement into your daily life can help regulate your nervous system. Mindful distractions like watching your favourite show can also bring you peace. Exploring various coping strategies is best to see which one works best for you.
Seek Professional Therapy
Still, the best way to heal from sexual trauma is to seek professional help. There are different kinds of therapies that therapists use to help those who have experienced sexual trauma.
Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Trauma-focused CBT (TF-CBT) is a type of psychotherapy that helps you work through the emotional impact of trauma. You’ll learn how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are connected during TF-CBT sessions. Your therapist will help you gently unpack what happened and process the painful aspects. Slowly, you’ll work with them to replace harmful thoughts with ones that support healing.
One key aspect of TF-CBT is creating a trauma narrative that allows you to organise and make sense of your traumatic experiences in a safe and structured environment. This eventually helps lessen the emotional distress associated with the trauma so you can live more freely.
Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
If you feel like talking about your trauma is too overwhelming, then Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be helpful. EMDR is beneficial for those who struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including sexual trauma.
EMDR is based on the premise that trauma memories can get “stuck” in the brain. Through the bilateral stimulations used in EMDR, your brain reprocessed these memories so they no longer carry the same heavy emotional burden.
One of the reasons why many people with trauma choose EMDR is because it allows you to heal without telling your whole story in detail. There’s no need to explain everything that happened so you don’t feel like you’re reliving the traumatic memory again.
Somatic Therapy
After experiencing trauma, your body may remember and store the pain. If you don’t resolve the pain, your body may be stuck in survival mode, and you’ll constantly feel tense and disconnected. With somatic therapy, you can eventually release stored trauma that talk therapy alone might not reach. This way, you can feel safe in your body again.
Like EMDR, there’s no need to tell your story in detail. Somatic therapists can guide you through breathwork, gentle movement, and body scans to reconnect and slowly release what your body’s been holding onto. It also offers you the chance to listen to your body from a new perspective so you can eventually heal from trauma.
Exposure Therapy
It’s normal to avoid things and places that remind you of your trauma. However, constant avoidance can make these triggers control your life. This is when exposure therapy becomes especially helpful.
During exposure therapy, you gently desensitise your brain to thoughts and feelings related to your trauma. This isn’t to invalidate the experience. Rather, it’s about slowly helping your brain learn you’re safe and not in danger anymore.
Exposure therapy works by first identifying triggers that bring up fear or anxiety. Then, with your therapist, you’ll create a plan to face these fears gradually. Constant exposure to these fears will weaken your response so you’re ready to open up again.
Holistic Therapies
Holistic therapies also play a part in helping a person heal as a whole after sexual assault. They complement traditional therapies like counselling or EMDR because they address the mind, body, and spirit. Here are some holistic therapies that can be integrated into your therapy:
- Trauma release exercises (TRE)
- Yoga
- Sound baths
- Mindfulness and meditation
- Art and music therapy
These holistic therapies can help you achieve a more well-rounded recovery experience.
Factors to Consider When Seeking Help for Sexual Assault
Since sexual assault happens differently for everyone, it also means that everyone will have different approaches to finding help. Here are some different factors when seeking help for trauma:
Safety and Confidentiality
The first thing you have to consider when reaching out for help is your safety and confidentiality. It’s important that you feel safe when receiving help and that your story is kept private. When you feel emotionally safe, you’ll be more open to treatment since you feel more comfortable and respected. Your therapist must never pressure you; being safe can make the treatment more effective.
Confidentiality is also important. Professionals are legally and ethically required to keep what they share confidential. If you find out or feel like your privacy is being compromised, it’s best to try to find another therapist.
Your Comfort Level
Your comfort level also matters when it comes to getting support. When you’re comfortable with your treatment setup, you’ll be able to set the pace of your treatment. You’ll also find that you can be more honest with your feelings when your comfort needs are met.
It’s also okay to only feel comfortable talking to certain therapists. For instance, if you prefer someone from your cultural background, then that’s fine. This can make you feel more comfortable with treatment because you have someone who better understands your origin.
Support Options
The support options available during your treatment are also crucial to your healing. There are several options out there, and examining each can help you make a more informed choice. Asking questions like “Do I want one-on-one therapy?” or “Am I looking for more body-based support?” can help you take a first step.
It’s okay if your first kind of support doesn’t work. You deserve care that fits your needs and lifestyle, and it can take time.
Cost, Location, and Accessibility
It’s also important to choose the treatment that is realistically available. This way, you can have more sustainable support for your needs. Cost is one of the big factors when it comes to accessibility. If you find the costs of treatment too high, then try asking about any payment plans or explore free or low-cost services in your area.
The location matters, too. The last thing you need is the stress of getting to treatment. See if the logistics of travelling work in your favour. If not, see whether online therapy is an option. This can make therapy more manageable and sustainable.
Long-Term Support
Lastly, long-term support should also be considered. Long-term support matters because some days may feel heavy, and having access to the right support can help you through difficult times. As you slowly heal from your trauma, you may still encounter different triggers and challenges that can make everyday life feel overwhelming.
Consistent, ongoing support provides a safety net. It helps ensure you have the resources and guidance to navigate these challenges and maintain your progress. Try to find support you know will stick with you because you deserve more than short-term fixes.
Heal from Sexual Trauma with The Orchid
Sexual abuse can have serious consequences on your overall well-being. It doesn’t matter if the abuse happened recently or years ago. The right support can help you regain autonomy and feel comfortable and safe.
At The Orchid, we offer a safe and nurturing space where you can heal your mind and body. Our team is here to help you take it one step at a time until you no longer feel burdened by the weight of your past. Reach out to us to learn how we can help you move forward with renewed strength and hope.
